February 6, 2010
I have control issues. But not the kind of control issues you’d probably assume I have, or for the reasons you’d probably assume I would get them because.
I have control issues that stem from a deep disgust and fear of losing reliability on one’s self. I guess you could put it that way. I’ve spent the majority of my life, majority meaning all but 138 days, with my life being controlled by some form of incapacity and fear.
And let me tell you, it is often said that money is the root of all evil. Money is absolutely not the root of all evil.
Fear is the root of all evil. Of all pain and suffering and death and hatred and war and conflict. Fear destroys people. It consumes, and it is endlessly hungry for poor, lonely souls. Fear is the blackness of the universe that is often so deeply hidden within ourselves we do not know it is there. It is that which makes the young child cry out for their mothers when the bulb in their night-light goes out. It is that which makes the broken woman bite her lip and clench her teeth in an argument so as not to meet again the pain of a husband’s angry fist. It is that which is seeded into the hearts of the raging soldiers, penetrating and destroying the homes of the Rwandan innocent. It is in the glistening eyes of those subjected to harassment for the openness of their religious beliefs or sexuality. It is in the full wallets of the empty industry barons, the dead beat dads, and the nuclear bomb dropping on a city of civilians. Fear has no limitations or boundaries. It can only be challenged and overcome by love.
I plan on continuing this at a later date, when I can further express my thoughts on the influence of love, they’re rather underdeveloped right now.
Until next time, xo.
