Chelsea in Wonderland

Tonight is the second to last night of summer. I’m sitting on Heather’s bed, propped against the wall, putting off getting ready to go to sleep, although I know that it’s 10:21 and I should because I have to wake up early tomorrow morning and volunteer at my school, and then go to field hockey practice.

I know that I write a lot of gloomy-type entries, and I don’t mean to, I just realized that I tend to be sort of gloomy when I sit down and think about everything that’s going on. Most of the time I’m just goinggoinggoing and I don’t have the chance to sit down and be pensive. But when I do, I often end up like this – slightly sad, and in the mood to write.

Lately I love the song Daylight by Matt and Kim. Yes, I heard it in that Bacardi commercial. It’s not my fault it’s so catchy ;) But do you ever go through a phase when you like a song so much, and it makes you so happy, that when you get over your phase, listening to that song again then makes you sad? If you have, then you understand. If not, then I’ll just say that it’s not the sort of sad that makes you watch lifetime with a pint of ben and jerry’s, or the kind of sad that makes you cry yourself to sleep, just the sort of sad that makes you remember times that you’ve had fun, and again, just brings you into a type of gloominess.

ANYWAY, enough with the gloominess. Last night I saw Julie and Julia :) It was adorable. I also loved the soundtrack. It was inspirational in the sense that life never has to be boring or hopeless. It’s as interesting as you make it. I love Amy Adams too, she’s so endearing. Sometimes I wish I could be as sweet and cute as her, but when I try, my cynicism gets in the way =/ I will say however that within this summer I have grown and come to realize so much. After Jonny I am more true to my heart, after Princeton, I have a much clearer view of my values and my goals, and all in all, I am more comfortable in my skin these days. And it’s a good feeling. (I’ll exclude the last few days when speaking of being comfortable in my skin because I have been eating terribly and I feel so fat :X)

Also! I almost forgot, I have an audition. Yes, that’s right, an audition. A woman called me the other day from Barbizon modeling and she was asking if I was interested in a free audition on Sept. 13th. It’s an acting/modeling audition for teenage girls. Although my mother was not thrilled with the news because she thinks they’re asking for money, (Does she not understand the word free ..?) I am still thrilled. I’ll be honest, I’m worried that I’m not quite in shape enough for that, but even though today was bad, there is still tomorrow.

Speaking of eating, last night after the movie, I went out to eat with Jonny to catch up. When I asked the waiter if he could bring me another water and some more cheese and crackers, Jonny, shocked, asked me very loudly if I was pregnant. Can you believe that? I was so embarrassed. The entire restaraunt stared at me, and the waiter awkwardly made the joke “better not be ..heh o_O” Not only did it make me look like some irresponsible teen mother, it gave the idea that I was having an affair, as I’m sure many of them assumed Jonny was my boyfriend. I made him apologize to me. His defense was that he had not ever seen me eat that much. I tried explaining that it’s field hockey season and it’s normal for my appetite to increase, but the damage was done. I felt scandolous in the eyes of the surrounding tables.

It’s 11:07 and I just realized that I left my cellphone downstairs, and Heather probably has been trying to contact me. I’ll wrap it up here, and try to get back on to write once school starts. Unlikely.

But until then, xo.