As much of a city girl that I am, I think that I would truly love to go somewhere beautiful in the middle of nowhere, and live there forever, just forgetting about this entire world. Often times it seems as if the things that I use most in my life, like my phone and my computer and damn facebook and myspace, cause me so much stress. I think I’m generally a pretty calm person. I like being alone, reading, quietness, clean rooms, and soft lights. But with everything in the world surrounding me and my constantly busy schedule, I don’t think I get the chance to really enjoy what I treasure most — the teeny tiny simple things.
I will admit that I’m not the happiest person. My life is in no way perfect. I think because of this, I always keep myself busy in order to avoid dealing with the things that upset me. I am addicted to being stressed out and being busybody because I’m not very good when it comes to dealing with feelings. I don’t think that I know how to. It’s just easier pretending like problems don’t exist.
I also came up with a conclusion about relationships today. They’re much like taking a long trip on a ship. (hah rhymed* -_-) When you first get on the boat, you’re nervous, but it’s an exciting nervous. You enjoy the thrill and exploring the ship and the new wonders it brings.After a while you come to know the boat, you’re used to the feeling of being at sea, and you start to forget what life was even like before you set foot on the ship. You’re not really unhappy with the fact, because life on the boat makes you feel content and comfortable. Then, whether abruptly or not, you reach land and must part with the boat. And no matter how life on the boat has changed you, made you stronger, smarter, sadder, or smaller, you are left in a new land and are completely unfamiliar with your surroundings. It’s hard to adjust because you cannot treat the new land as you had the old; it’s totally different. All the while you were traveling further and further away from your home land, but you were okay with it because you had the safety of the boat to keep you from the dangers of the outside. But once the boat is gone, you have nothing, in a strange new place, left to rebuild your entire world and fend for yourself.
It may be a bit cynical, but I think it’s fairly accurate.
