If only I wanted to be here.
If only I actually missed anything.
If only I wasn’t completely stressed the minute I walked through the door.
Then maybe that title would be true.
It’s absolutely freezing right now. I witnessed the first snow fall today, but there really wasn’t that much. I do hope there’s more coming. I have an incredible amount of work to get done, none of which I am doing right now .. even though it’s due tomorrow. There are a few things I suppose I’m looking forward to within the upcoming weeks. I should really try to focus on that rather than dwell on the bad. It’s going to be rough getting back into school and fitting in the physical therapy three times a week and trying to work to have some money for christmas. Marriane and Karan don’t expect me to work for like two and a half weeks. possibly more, but I really want to. I have plans to go Christmas shopping with Jonny next weekend so I’ll see if I can squeeze in some hours somewhere. I’m looking forward to getting my new bank card, but I’m not sure when Karan is going to send it to me. I don’t have that much money .. but it’s nice knowing that I have some, as opposed to before when I was entirely broke all the time.
I’m writing in hopes that it will help my mood. But it hasn’t yet. My room is so messy, I get a headache thinking about cleaning it all up. I’m really tired but I can’t take a nap because I have all that homework. And my bed is covered with stuff from unpacking and I don’t feel like throwing it on the floor or putting it away. I just feel really drained I guess. I have this incredibly loud ringing in my ears, and I don’t know how to make it go away. And I wish there was some damn warmth in this house. I hate that I’m sitting here complaining but no one else wants to listen. Not that this blog is even a person in any way.
I think maybe if I take a short nap then it will help. Then I REALLY need to work on my homework, I mean it’s kind of sad that I had so long to do it and I’m finishing it up the last day. It was like a super long weekend.
Filed under: Life, Media, The Internet, The World | Tags: card night, christmas, E.T., obesity is suicide, shin kicking, thanksgiving, work
So I had a good day today :D I’m on my NEW* computer right now! It’s fabulous<3 It was originally meant as a joint gift for my brother and me but instead it’s for me ’cause I’ll need it for work. Which by the way, I’ve finally started. Right now the work is a tad bit dull, but it’s totally worth it. I get to choose my own hours and work when I feel like it, I don’t have to wear any type of lame uniform, it’s family owned, and I’m getting more than minimum wage. So really, it’s a pretty sweet package. And hey .. I got a new computer out of it right? ;)
So I have more to talk about, I just need to organize my thoughts. Right now there’s people down stairs, it was card night and Marianne and Karan’s friends came over for a pre-thanksgiving dinner and dessert. It’s called card night because originally they played every Wednesday but they don’t play every night anymore, some nights they just hang out. Tonight was one of those nights. We all ate dinner, and there was ALOT of food and dessert, and then we watched Rosie O’Donnell’s live variety show. Afterwards they were gonna play cards but we ended up watching E.T. while all the gay men made smart ass remarks. It was definitely entertaining. After the movie I headed upstairs, I don’t know if they’re still here though. I’m exhausted. I don’t want to miss anything tomorrow ’cause Thanksgiving is I think my second favorite holiday. It used to be Halloween but that’s been sucking lately so I kinda gave up on it.
I made peppermint bark too! And I got creative :)
I melted semi-sweet Gerardi chocolate chips and then sprinkled the top with crushed candy canes and wrote the words with dyed white chocolate chips. I have yet to taste it though. I can’t wait to get into the Christmas spirit! I have the best plans with Jonny on friday. We’re gonna put the tree up and decorate and make christmas cookies and go see Four Christmases. And Friday is my first payday! I’m happy. I really, truly am. I haven’t felt like this in a while :)
But anyway, there are other internet things I’d like to share. The other day I was researching stuff cause I’m doing a health project on obesity, and I found the SICKEST AD! I don’t mean sick like repulsive, I mean sick like wiiicked awesome. 
Honestly, tell me not. That is BALLSY. I’m feelin’ it. I really am. There’s another one of this guy with butter strapped around him like a bomb. They’re great.
And I was looking at some Harry Potter video on MSN and I found this article.
Shin kicking Seriously, that would KILL. Like, I guess it’s a good game o_O I certainly would never play though. … Who even thought of that? Imagine your legs after it’s done though. Omg aah.
I have alot of work to do. I hardly got any done today :/ I’m slackin. And I have so much more I wanted to write about. But I’m gonna try and settle down some. Niiight.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Eric Harringer, John Paul Lacey, Love, Morning Sun, Spring
I was listening to Morning Sun by Eric Harringer and John Paul Lacey, and it sounds like Spring and being in love.
I’m not really sure if something can sound like that, but to me it does. I know I sound crazy, but I never really made much sense anyway. That was just my first impression of the song.
Filed under: Life, The World | Tags: accents, England, future husband, The Holiday
Well, maybe I’m not destined, but I definitely hope I end up there somehow. I plan to meet the man of my dreams there.
This is one of my favorite pictures too<3
I’m watching The Holiday right now, and I feel so silly cause I’ve been so wrapped up in love stories these days, but this movie is adorable. And it could happen, it’s not like Harry Potter, so it’s no totally ridiculous for me to wish for something like that right? ;)
I think if I moved there I would fall in love with a man’s accent before I would fall in love with him. Actually if that were the case, I would just be falling in love with anyone since their voice doesn’t necessarily have to match their face o_O
ANYWAY .. I want to go there. I was looking at hotels in London, obviously I don’t really plan on going there on vacation, but it looks so nice :) I would love to study abroad there during college. & it would work out perfectly because I plan on meeting my husband in college. I sure hope he doesn’t mind going along with the wedding I’ve already planned out :P
Meh, I have to go read Lysistrata for theater. Toodles ;)
I have definitely had plenty of down time these past few days. I don’t really have a choice though, I mean it’s such a pain to even crutch myself over to the bathroom. I’m not looking to parade around the house to satisfy my boredom level. So I’ll stay in this bed until it doesn’t hurt to be upright anymore. I have a plethora of homework (nice vocab right ;D) to do, which I could should would be doing right now if I didn’t have something on my mind. And when I have something on my mind its better to get it out because I know from experience that I’ll bury it and it will rear its ugly head in the worst possible time.
So, since I don’t like private posts I’m going to write about my little issue on here but I’ll try not to be too specific.
Jealousy is a terrible terrible terrible feeling. I am a terribly jealous person by nature. I try so hard to not be, to not care, and it works–on the outside. Jonny says I’m great at acting nonchalant and unbothered by things, like nothing in the world could possibly phase me. Interestingly enough, I am very easily bothered. It’s not exactly a good trait to have, to care about little things. It probably has to do with my tendency to over-think everything. Anyway, I’m getting off track.
Lately my life has been a bit topsy-turvy. It’s not that it’s been thrown completely off course, it’s just in the works. The in-between period. The messy, disorganized, stressful, period. [If stress is a factor to any situation, which it often is, I'm insane. I can't, don't know how to deal with stress at all. ] So it’s just left life with much to be desired . The troublesome addition to the family makes my trainwreck of a household seem even less like a home. Some recent realizations have made me awfully lonely and unbalanced. My PHYSICAL INABILITY to do anything definitely kicks the stress up a notch. But I hate not being able to throw myself into my social life. It’s honestly the only antidote to my worries. And well.. I feel really left out. :/ It sounds so immature, completely self absorbed and ridiculous. But I do. Relationships are so important to me and I feel like they’re all deteriorating. I’m like an island. I don’t have anyone, anyone that I feel like I can connect to one hundred percent. Now don’t get me wrong, I am SO grateful for who I have in my life. When I say that I feel like this I’m not trying to like diss the people who I’m close to and who I consider to be most important to me. I just can’t help but feel this tiny little thread inside me thats been pulled loose from all the others. I hate to admit it but I am totally desperate. Not like desperate, like I’m gonna go date someone just to feel wanted or something like that. I just have a longing you know? Like something is missing. I don’t know .. maybe I’m just having an off day. Hopefully it’s just an off day.
I was actually a lot vaguer than intended in regards to the point I wanted to emphasize. But that’s okay I suppose. I think my meds for my leg are gonna set in soon, so I’ll wrap it up here.
Night.
Filed under: Life, Media, The Internet | Tags: Pandora, recovery, Robert Pattinson, surgery, Twilight
So, I had my surgery on thursday. It’s Saturday now. I’m not gonna lie, I did not expect it to be this bad. I mean the leg, yeah I expected it to be sore and to have to wear a gigantic brace and to have to crutch around for a while. But I did not foresee the nausea and the dizziness and the overall feeling like crap. Sheesh. But apparently my recovery is coming along great. I don’t know how you can figure after only a few days, but hey, sure. It’s good to hear I’m doing good.
But anyway, in my time of recovery I’ve gotten some things done. Not any homework yet, but I don’t mind putting that off, I have until December 1st. I finished the last book of Twilight. I don’t even care, it makes me so sad hahah. I haven’t read books that good in so long. I truly miss reading them. But I can still look forward to the movie coming out next week. I actually am so excited to see that, Robert Pattinson. Oh my god. I usually refuse to have any sort of celebrity infatuation because I find it completely pointless and immature, I mean it’s not like you’re REALLY going to end up “Mrs Nick Jonas” or whatever, so why bother? But I can’t help it, when you love the books and the characters as much as I do, it’s hard not to love the movie actors.
<3<3<3
he's absolutely beautiful<3
I have those two pictures on my myspace, ha. I feel so silly actually admitting that I love him so much. Oh AND he has the accent too! That’s one of my requirements for my husband, as I want my children to have british accents. ;)
Anyway, I’ve also discovered Pandora! I haven’t discovered it, but my aunts introduced me to it. It’s online radio that learns your tastes in music and customizes the station to fit exactly what you want to listen to. I’ve been playing with it all day. You can type in a certain song or artist that you want the station to be based on and then it automatically generates music with like sounds. It’s so sick, hahah.
Oh! & I have some shots of my leg :D
a gory shot ;D
from an artistic point of view
my brace I have to wear -_-
That’s all for now though, Jonny (who I’ve decided I want to call Jonathan now,) and Kade are on their way here to visit! Well, I’m pretty sure Kade is sleeping over but Jonathan is just staying for a few hours. Tooodles :)
I’ve finally given in.
I’ve become a fan of Twilight.
I didn’t want to start reading it, I really didn’t. I hate cliche’s for all they’re worth. Defiant as a I am, I didn’t want to start reading the series based on the sole fact that they’ve become so popular. And hey, I do base books by their covers. And I’ve had the book for a while before it became as popular as it is now, I just looked at it and was like “meh .. vampires? not really my thing…” But despite all of my immature resistance, I love the book.
When I was a little girl I loved vampires. I was actually kind of obsessed with them. I don’t know what it was that was so intriguing, but I really yearned to be one. Just reading the book reminds me of what was so fascinating about vampires. I’ve always taken a liking to books where extraordinary things happen to ordinary people. Books that stay in tune with reality, but show a completely different world as well. Like Harry Potter for example, or a Wrinkle in Time. I like books that take you away from reality but border it, making you question exactly what is real, whether the questioning is reasonable or not. I’ve always had a really extensive imagination. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it either. But I think I acquired it from finding such boredom in my bland, mediocre, and entirely unfulfilling life. Whatever the reason may be, Twilight definitely entertains my wishful mind.
