Filed under: Life, School | Tags: baby shower, end of summer, jonny, rollercoasters, september 9th, six flags, wisdom teeth
I just thought that I’d update, I haven’t for a few days. I’m in a pretty good mood today. I have a baby shower to go to at three, it’s 12:47 now. Lysandra, the person who is having the baby, is due on my brother’s birthday. Oddly enough, that’s also the same day as my friend Deprise’s parents got married (who happen to be Lysandra’s aunt and uncle.) Seems September 9th is a pretty busy day. Lately I can’t stop listening to that song ‘The Space Between’ by Valencia, there’s just something about it that gets me so pumped haha.
Yesterday I went to Six Flags with Jonny, Amy, and Jaime. It was me and Jonny’s six month anniversary as well, so it was nice being able to do that. Jonny was nervous to go on any of the rides, but I made him trust me and ride them anyway. Of course he enjoyed all of them. I mean I can understand, even I get the jitters sometimes before I go on a rollercoaster, but that usually doesn’t stop me. Actually, I don’t think it’s ever stopped me. I’ve never gotten in line or gotten on the ride and then backed out. If I don’t want to go on one then I’ll just avoid it all together. But hey, that’s just me.
So I’ve discovered that my wisdom teeth are coming in :\ Yeah. Not fun. When I think of the word ‘wisdom’ old chinese men with long beards and proverbs come to mind. Not late blooming molars that entail visits to the dentist and painful procedures. I get that the wisdom part in the name is related to how late they come, but hey. I’m only fifteen, who ever considered that to be an age of wisdom? I’m still figuring out who I am, let alone the secrets to life. Sheesh.
I this is my last weekend of summer o_o. It went by so incredibly fast. I have school on Tuesday, the 26th. I have two more nights of freedom, and then my last day of summer, well that’s a school night. I have to say that this is the first year that I’m not really looking forward to going back. I mean I guess I could be excited, I get to see everyone and I’m class president and what not, but I just don’t think that this summer was satisfying. It seemed really, REALLY short. There’s already leaves dropping and changing color outside my bedroom window. I already explained that I don’t mind the Fall, it’s just kind of shocking how quickly it’s coming. But anyway, I feel like I’m just repeating myself. I’ll probably call Megan now, she’s my ride to the shower and I told her we would hang out before hand.
Toodles! :)
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
I’m thinking I have a case of the mean reds. Is there a cure exactly? I need one quickly, because I absoultely hate this feeling. It’s so consuming that I’m not even sure what to do with myself. The only thing here is, I kind of have an idea of what scares me. I just don’t understand why it is that I can’t deal with it like a normal person. I bottle up all these emotions without even the slightest idea that I’m doing it and before you know it I’m sitting here, a mess.
See, I usually get this feeling around spring time. It’s associated with the whole concept of time passing, you know, another school year that’s passed within the blink of an eye. This time though, I’m getting it thinking about going back to school. I guess I’m disappointed in this summer .. it went really quickly and it was highly unfulfilling. However, I don’t mind the fall. I actually love that time of year, it gets chilly and there’s all these fairs and apple picking and sweater weather. I get excited thinking about these things and reminisce to last Fall, and that’s where it gets me. I think about last Fall, in all it’s glory, and it just reminds me of how happy and careless I was then. Everything in my life just seemed to fit you know? Somewhere along the lines things just went downhill from there. I’m pretty sure where and when too, but that’s hard to come to terms with. The thought of it just creates this big pit in my stomach and that leaves me worse than I already am now. Oh oh, and then there’s Field Hockey. That’s just stressful to think about because I am SO out of shape, and the season just takes up all of my time. I will however, admit that it’s great for stress. But those golden afternoons that I long for? They go completely unappreciated. I dread every after school practice, taking a good two, three hour chunk out of my day. I just don’t know what to do.
Filed under: School, Shopping | Tags: field hockey, Shopping, steve madden boots, summer reading, unemployment
I found my boots! :D They’re Steve Madden, I ordered them online. They’re gorgeous. haha I’m sure I sound ridiculous right now, I’m just really excited. I’m kinda spending all my money on them though .. :/ But I’m just going to work more and hopefully I’ll be able to make up for this splurge. But back to the boots. They come up to about mid calf I’d say, and they’re like a heather gray (maybe a little darker) and they tie in the back. They’re suedey material, idk how else to explain them but I’m so pumped. I got new stuff for field hockey too, but Karan bought it for me. Goggles finally, because they’re always out of stock when I look for them at Dick’s Sporting Goods, new cleats because I lost all the studs in mine and it messes up my feet when I run, and a new mouthguard, because Karan insists.
I’ve got most of my shopping done, but I still have some more to do. I’m probably going to wait a little though, maybe into September. And I’m gonna try to not just blow all of my money either, because I have a tendency to get out of hand when it comes to shopping. I guess it’s a good thing that I never go shopping, ha.
I’ve been really stressed lately. I need to do my summer reading, well, I already did the reading portion, I need to do the writing part. I know a lot of kids think summer reading is totally stupid and a waste of perfectly good summer hours. But I’d be reading anyway, whether it be required or not. And I’m competitive with myself when it comes to things like grades. I like to do better than I did previously, so I’m always looking for a challenge. I’m not about to give up ten percent of my english grade first quarter. I don’t really care to sound like a nerd, I’ve always found school to be really important. I’ve been gifted with being able to look at the bigger picture in life, something a lot of people never really get a grasp on, or at least not as a teenager. But whatever, I’m just rambling haha. I actually have some work to do, like I said, I’m doubling my efforts to get money this summer. That is, as long as I’m unemployed. :/ It looks like I’ll be job-less until January probably. Yikes. But that’s all for now, toodles :)
Filed under: Uncategorized
So I know I promised I wouldn’t rant. But I’m going to rant.
I want to say that it’s not “cool” to get with a bunch of guys. It’s not cool to do it at parties, it’s not cool to do it more than once a night, it’s not cool to do it sober, and it’s especially not cool to do it when you’re drunk / high / whatever. I don’t know when or why it became awesome to do that, but I just see it to be trashy. I mean don’t get me wrong, people make mistakes. I get that. But then to BRAG about it? No thanks, I don’t want to hear your shame stories. Why would you want to spread something that just makes people lose their respect for you? You shouldn’t do it, and you certainly shouldn’t tell everyone about it. I mean there’s already enough bad names out there for girls who do those kinds of things. If you want to go around telling everyone that will listen, well honey, you’re just asking for it.
Filed under: Life, The Internet | Tags: All American Rejects, As You Like It, Blogging, Forgiveness, Playlist, Shakespear
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.
- It Ends Tonight, All American Rejects
So it’s a Saturday night and I’m sitting here texting, and blogging, and talking to Ben Sheffield. I must say, I’m quite the party-er. I went to a play earlier, but we left at intermission. It was ‘As You Like It’. It’s a Shakespear play, my taste is a bit more immature but it was good. It was funny, and the actors were really talented. But I was freezing and I had to pee really bad, not to mention the seating arrangement left much to be desired. Someone’s really mad at me right now. Which I don’t blame them, I know that I’m in the wrong. There’s no point in denying it. Though I may add, there was meant to be emphasis on the HARMLESS part. I definitely have some thinking to do. Yiiiikes.
I wonder how many people actually read this thing. You should totally comment if you do :D hahah. I feel kinda lame for having this, to be honest. But it always feels good for me to write, it relieves stress and whatnot. So i’ll keep this silly little blog, even though it’s causing drama in my actual life.
Oh! And that playlist, I still have to work on it, there’s not that many songs. But this is what I have so far :)
the actual playlist won’t show up on this, so here’s the link
I think I need to go now though. There are some ammends to be made. :/
Filed under: Uncategorized
I mean I guess for most people the day of the week doesn’t matter much, it’s summer vacation. It’s the weekend for eight weeks. But me on the other hand, I have tennis and have to wake up at 7:45 for five days a week. So tomorrow being Saturday is a great thing. Although I may have a yoga class in the morning, I’ll have to check.
I’m hoping I’ll get to the mall this weekend, I have some things in mind that I want to buy. I need to find a really good pair of boots. Not like hearty work boots or anything like that, but a good pair of boots that’ll go with jeans and aren’t overly expensive. I’m thinking I wanna go with some neutral colors too, cause they’ll go with more. There’s actually a lot I want to get. But I’ve wanted boots for a while now. I need to get new leggings too.
Agh, I need to go finish working on my playlist. It’s coming along pretty nicely.
The title actually has nothing to do with what I’m writing except that it’s a line in a song I was just listening to. Boys with Girlfriends by meiko. It’s ‘featured’ on myspace, but I like the rest of her stuff anyway. And hey, I have no objection to good music. I don’t care where I find it. Actually, I was thinking I need to make a new playlist. I’ve been hearing a bunch of new music lately and I don’t want to forget about it. This new playlist, I need it to be all the same kind of music, and I need it to be writing music. Alot of it is soft, yeah, but I can’t rely on my other playlist full of soft music cause that’s more of a fall asleep/listen to when you’re depressed kind of playlist. So I’m gonna put this together, and I’ll post it on here.
It’s been really stormy today, like the thunder and lightning have been on and off and really extreme. The dogs of course were going nuts because of it. I probably already mentioned that in the previous blog though. Oh well. I went shopping earlier for school supplies. I’m not even gonna lie, I almost like that more than getting clothes. Alright, that’s an exaggeration but I really do love it. I love new pens and blank paper and everything being clean and organized. I don’t even know what I love so much about it, but I just can’t get enough. I like to lay it all out and just idk, look at it I guess haha. I sound so silly but I really love new supplies.
I just got done looking through my photobucket at all these old pictures of myself and it was just really weird. I look at how much I’ve changed, and it’s kind of shocking. I mean emotionally, mentally, and physically I’ve changed, but I was just looking at surface things that have changed. Like how I used to wear so much eye makeup, and how my hair was so long, and all the different cuts and dye jobs it been through. Some of the things I look at just make me wonder what exactly was going through my head when I did it. Others, well, they kind of give me the urge to do it again. I think the biggest thing I miss is my long hair. I actually just got another trim today, but still. It was a lot easier to deal with, but i think back to my dead ends and blotchy colors and I’m not missing it too much.
But I’m gonna go brush my teeth and call Jonny. Night!
Filed under: Life, The Internet, Uncategorized | Tags: bad mood, cute boy, reading, tennis, The Internet, thunderstorm
I have no idea why, but I feel really down today.
I’m hoping that I’m just grumpy because I’m hungry, or I’m grumpy from my nap earlier, but I’m not so sure. I won’t get into details on here. I’ve never really been one to display my emotions for the world to see, which I don’t really see to be a bad thing. I’ll talk to Jonny tonight though about it all on the phone. Jeeez louise I hate being in a bad mood.
Other than that, things have been pretty good. I started my two week session of tennis lessons, Monday. Apparently I’ve improved a whole lot since last year? I’m not really seeing it. I can still say I’m really bad. But I’m working on it! Speaking of tennis though, is it totally wrong for me to think that one of the instructors is incredibly cute? Ahh I feel terrible! But I just can’t help it. It’s not my fault he’s so good looking. & To add to that, I definitely had a crush on him this time last year :/ I’m hopeless. I would never do anything though. It’s wrong and I care about Jonny. I’ll just stick to harmless flirting. ;) BUT. Back to tennis, ha. Conrad, the main instructor, suggested additional private lessons. i guess I have a great deal of ‘potential’. Again, I don’t really see it. But I may just take him up on his offer. I mean besides the practice I need it’s a great workout. Actually, I’ve been wicked sore these past two days. It’s a good sore, a sore that lets you know you got something done, but sore nonetheless. I’ve gotten back into the habit of taking naps also.
Actually, today I was taking a nap. i took a pretty long one, but I was woken up by a crazy thunderstorm. I mean it was relatively short but it was pretty extreme. The dogs were going crazy every time you heard a crack of thunder. Honestly, I don’t blame them ha. I love thunderstorms yet I still found myself jumping a little bit and my heart racing at every big clap. I still enjoyed it though. The rain was furious, coming down in sheets, but I have to say the lightning was slacking a bit. The thunder, obviously was good. It was over to quickly though :/ I was hoping it would stay awhile. I went back to sleep right after that though.
Lately I’ve really been hating the internet? It’s like everything just bores the sh#t out of me. [i'm working on swearing less, especially on here] I hate myspace. I hate facebook. I hate all of it. I really don’t know where this sudden blast of emotion towards the world wide web has come from but it’s leaving me pretty bored haha. This week all i’ve basically done it play tennis, eat, sleep, read, work-ish, and talk to jonny at night. Woo! -_- I’m actually really content though. It’s nice and relaxed and I have time to do whatever. I like that I’m reading more too, I love it though I never seem to do it enough. I’m reading Tempted by Cecily Vonzieger, or something like that. I can’t spell her last name but she’s the author of the Gossip Girl and It Girl novels. I hate to say that trashy teenage romance novels are like my favorite<3 hahah. Well. They’re up there.
But I have some work to do, so I’m gonna have to wrap up for now. I’ll be on again, that is if I don’t completely hate the internet before I write another post. ;D
So, today I did something very out of the ordinary and completely random. Something, that I have not done in a very long time. I was heading downstairs after reading some of The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd and I took the route that leads to the front of the house instead of the one that leads to the kitchen (I’m staying at my aunts house btw) and almost instinctively I sat down at the top of the stairs to slide down instead of walk. I will admit that I hesitated for a moment, realizing the odd nature of the act but I went on with it nonetheless. I honestly have no idea where the sudden urge came from, but I felt completely normal doing it. I remember as a child, my cousins and I would race down whatever staircase we could find, giggling as we slid down and utterly enjoying the uncomfortable, bumpy trip. In those days, it was if that was only was to go down stairs. I mean who wants to walk down when sitting on your ass was much funner?
Speaking of out of the blue, today’s a perfect example of a lazy August day. The humidity thats plagued this summer seems to have disappeared, if only for these 24 hours. I guess I can understand why people explain nice days with the expression “Not a cloud in the sky” but I really prefer there to be clouds. I don’t mean the kind of clouds that are deep and dark and make lunch seem like dinner. Or the clouds that are sticky and gray and refuse to let through some sunlight (though relieve none of the mugginess with some rain.) I mean the kind of clouds that are ideal. The ones that create the perfect contrasting view of solid blue and fluffy white. They loom over you in the most pleasant way and seem to be enjoying the day just as much as you are (or certainly should be.) Those kinds of clouds really make the colors of the season stick out. & They intensify the seemingly endlessness of the sky. It’s those clouds that I see to define a nice day. Forget clear skies, I like a couple clouds. They’re good company.
