I was recently in New York for a 50th anniversary of some distant relatives. During the five hour long car ride there, I wrote a blog, which I was unable to post at the time because there was no wifi on the road. I’m just getting around to it now, so here it is :)
June 26, 2009:
Current Location: The middle of nowhere. Also known as upstate New York. To be honest, it’s really not that bad .. I guess. It’s all so green here, as opposed to the familiar gray, cement color scheme of the city. So I like the green. I must say that the huge expanses of greenery make it hard to believe that we are actually at a loss for trees and nature and whatnot, heading the planet into a state of dried out rock, suffocated by greenhouse gases. It’s also hard to believe that New York can hold all this green while one of the filthiest, most polluted cities in the world also is located here. On top of all of that, I’m biased. I very much support a greener lifestyle, and saving the planet, but I prefer city living over being surrounded by farm land. I don’t have much against farmland, it’s just that it gets old when you’re my age. Everything is like a mile apart, and it’s so quiet, and there’s a very limited amount of activities that would entertain me. I’ll be honest, I’m not very good with physical labor. I doubt I could keep a window sill garden alive. Despite that farmland and forest lifestyles seem much cleaner and healthier, something I hold in importance, (does that make sense?) I would rather be lost in the vastness of urbanity than be swallowed by nature, and be bored. So what it really comes down to is how much fun I’m having, and how convenient things are. And I’m okay with that.
I’m on my way to a 50th anniversary right now. Five hours in the car with my two aunts, my brother, and Coco and Dot – the dogs. However, I did get a beautiful dress out of it. Well, besides all the wonderful benefits of bonding with distant relatives and blah blah blah. ;) I’ll have to post a picture of it from the Forever 21 (or should I say XXI Forever?) website. I can’t right now because I don’t have wifi but I’ll do my best to describe it. It’s soft white with a country style flower pattern all over. The straps are like that of a tank top, but there’s a slightly frilly piece of fabric along the edge of the sort of low cut neckline. The skirt has a slight bubble-ness to it, and it falls above the knee. (My conservative, catholic, incredibly judgmental aunt will probably have a heart attack that it’s not ankle length, but then again…that wouldn’t be most horrible situation either. Kidding! … o_O) All in all, the dress is really endearing. I hope that it’s not too dressy to wear throughout the rest of the summer because I absolutely adore it. The only thing I wonder is if I can get away with wearing black heels with it. I have these awesome pointed-toe, black, two inch heels that I haven’t had an opportunity to wear yet and I really was hoping that they would make their debut at this party. I think I can get away with them because the only thing I brought to go over the dress is a black cardigan, so it will create a nice balance.
The last time I was here was about fifth grade, and I was going through a stage of Gothic apparel and anything related to Hot Topic. And I was reading the fifth Harry Potter book, thus making me the anti-Christ in the eyes of my aunt (previously mentioned) Things surely have changed. I’m interested to see how her kids have developed, from what I hear they’re kind of on the weird side but what can you expect. Anywho, appearances are no judge of character and I’m willing to look past odd mannerisms and get along with my cousins.
We’re getting close I hear, so I’m going to wrap up here. I’ll post my dress too. Until then, xo.
Not bad for 24.80 ;)
“I’ve never made promises lightly,
And there have been some that i’ve broken.
But I swear in the days still left,
We’ll walk in fields of gold.”
For some reason, fields of gold by sting always makes me sad. Do you ever feel like you have memories of something that you know never happened to you? That’s what happens to me when I listen to that song. I always feel this longing inside of me, to go back to the days in fields of gold, but I never have actually experienced them in the first place. It just feels so real, like in anastasia when she goes back to her old palace and there’s things she “almost remembers”. I don’t know, maybe I just get really into the song? It’s just such an odd mood I get it whenever the song comes on.
In other news, I’ve been thinking lately. It’s so hard to change. It’s hard to be someone you know you should be when you know you’re not. It’s hard to be strong, when you know you’re sad, and a simple slip up can erase your problem. But sometimes, it’s harder to erase your problem then to actually deal with it. I don’t like having conflict in my life, especially with people I love. I usually know if I’m being selfish or if I’m rational, but sometimes the line blurs and it’s hard to tell if I’ve made the right choices. I’ve grown so much this past year, and now that summer is so close (six school days to be precise) I feel as if I’m really not done learning yet either. I feel like there’s so much more to come. I’m going to me working all summer, while balancing a social life, summer homework, sat prep, and Princeton. As much as I put all my effort into things, I feel like I look to the future so much that I’m just running away from problems I have now to some expected happiness I seek to find, and I’m forgetting to recognize the moments that are slipping away in the process. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed enough lately and I’d like to make a promise to myself to start living. I’m only going to have a summer being sixteen once, I better take advantage of it. So here is my summer resolution: I, Chelsea, will truly enjoy my summer, soak up every bit of positivity possible, stop being stressed, and just be young. I don’t want to say that my youth was wasted when I was young at some later point in life. I want everything to be worthwhile.
I’m making a play to,
Come back to life.
I’ll do it in plain view,
Right out in the light.
-Rumer Willis
Yet another blog from Mr Power’s class, damn the Tale of Two Cities.
I have a plan. For the past six months or so I have had a pretty rough time. Anxiety through the roof, conflict around every corner, solemnity every day. I’m through with it all. I want to have a completely enjoyable summer, not exactly carefree, but atleast stress free. These are my summer objectives:
1. Save my money!
I’ve spent so much money without even realizing it that
it’s gotten ridiculous, four hundred gone in the last two
months or so? And that’s just what was in my account,
let alone what I made from work! So I’m definitely
going to stop with that spending.
2. Get in shape for the upcoming field hockey season
I went running with Nina the other day, we did a mile
and I’m still sore three days later -_- Not acceptable,
Chels.
– I didn’t finish this post but I thought I’d publish it anyway, showing the beginning of my plans haha
I believe in magic. I genuinely do. Or atleast I yearn to believe in it. I get so wrapped up in stories about the impossible happening and little secrets that the rest of the world over look. My imagination has no limits, which kind of makes it hard return to reality after an amazing day dream. I want so badly for a fairytale to happen to me that I can’t help but believe that there’s some sort of mystical realism (how’s that for a paradox) that exists. Maybe I’m näive, maybe I’m not. Who really knows. I’ll probably end up being the insane old woman who wears her hair at her knees and makes potions from her spice garden. But I’ll definitely have the best stories to tell my grandchildren ;)
Until next time, xo
Today is one of those unseasonably warm, give you a taste of weather you can’t enjoy until school’s out, beautiful and sunny, late May days. And it makes me want summer almost more than anything. Today is one of the days that I can feel summer in my bones. I’m sitting on the bus right now, being jostled around, almost to the point of nausea, and vacation is just out of reach. I have an incredible amount of work to finish as well. I feel like im so used to this track of stress and cramming and rushing that when summer actually comes I won’t know what to do myself. It’s odd but definitely in character. I think I’m somewhat of a stressaholic. Or maybe stress is addicted to me because I never seem to enjoy it’s presence in my life, no do I feel a need for it.
On another note, I made select chorus at my school. I’m really excited for next year, I heard we were invited to perform in London. This year the select chorus visited Washington DC for the innauguration and placed fourth in the whole country. I’m really just bragging right now but I can’t help it, I’m totally psyched :D
Other good news, my leg is not in need of surgery again! My doctor said I probably just sprained my knee and got set back in terms of physical therapy but other than that I’m all healed :) Things have been going really well lately, all besides my mom and Jonny. Both are pretty influential and important people in my life, so it’s rough that there’s issues with them but both situations are out of my control so I can really only try to deal with it. Anyway, I have a load of homework to start.
Till next time,xo.
What a day,
What a silly little day.
Time to kill, take a pill,
As I sit and contemplate
- Saturday by Holly Brook
There’s a certain comforting mugginess to the air today while I sit here and wait for the forecasted thunderstorm. I woke up exhausted this morning to run around Worcester and the near by towns, assembling my Mother’s Day gift. I had originally planned on cleaning the entire house and redoing the living room but we weren’t able to get my mom out of the house so we settled for a basket filled with an assortment of motherly things. My mom has been complaining for what seem like ages, for new pots and pans. Thus, I bought her a few good ones that I’m sure she will highly appreciate. I also blew up a nice picture of my brother and I and framed it. I think she’ll appreciate that more.
I haven’t written in a while, to be frank, I haven’t had the time at all. I actually don’t have the time now either but there’s an odd relaxed feeling about this hour of the day and I had to take advantage of it. I’ll admit I have not had the greatest day, quite stressful actually, so it would be a sin to not acknowledge the calmness that has settled over my house. It’s relieving because this week has been the worst I’ve probably ever had, maybe not measured by the events of it, but measured by how I’ve felt. Which is awful, by the way. I’m really, horribly, terribly, ridiculously, upset by Jonny leaving. Now that it’s May, it seems like the days are just flying by and each second brings us closer to having to say goodbye. If there’s anything I’m not good at, it’s dealing with emotions. So I figure this is going to be extra hard. Anyway, I haven’t had much to eat all day and I just got a wave of ravenousness.
I’ll try to update more often, but until then,xo.
Lately I have been having really vivid dreams, some shocking, some pleasant, all of them interesting. This morning I woke up from a dream about a magic tree. I’m not exactly sure what the tree specialized in, but it just fixed everything. In the beginning of the dream there was a flashback to these Mayans or Inca people who discovered the magic trees hidden in a vast forest and discovered their powers but kept them secret. Then, in real time, I discovered their powers. I some how obtained the knowledge of the ancient history of the tree and I would rub my hands on the flowers and red leaves of the tree and just fix things. I can’t remember all that I did but I distinctly remember making a little sprout in the ground grow into a large beautiful tree and there was a sad, little autistic girl whose hair wouldn’t grow. I rubbed my hands on the pollen of the tree and then rubbed her head and she grew a full head of hair and the color in her face returned to her cheeks and she had a big smile on her face.
Now that I write this dream out, it sounds much less appealing than when I actually dreamt it, but I can assure you it was really amazing. I have a tendency to look up my dream meanings too, because they end up being sort of accurate, and from what I’ve read, my dream translates that in order to flourish and grow, I need a new approach in life - which honestly is believable with how things have been playing out lately.
Anyway, I’m totally supposed to be working right now, so I should probably get to that. Lataaah ;]
Oh & p.s., I saw Adventureland last night .. not so good. There was an interesting plot line, and I love Kristen Stewart, but I expected it to be funnier than it was. I think they were playing on the humor of akwardness, which kind of worked for them but was often played out uncomfortably. I don’t know, maybe my sense of humor just sucks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8
With all shock aside, this video truly bothers me. It’s just scary, I don’t know it gives me a bad feeling. I know I’m a hypocrite by blogging about it, but I feel like the rapid increase in technology and our ‘exponential times’ is going to lead to some kind of crazy, messy conclusion. Maybe it’ll tie into all how the world will end in 2012. Or the Apocolypse. Or MAYBE, I just read into too many of these theories and go off on my train of worst possible scenario thought. Maybe, this is how the dinosaurs died ;)
I’m off to attempt to get my permit. I don’t I have the proper document requirements but let’s see if they’ll let me take it anyway.
As much of a city girl that I am, I think that I would truly love to go somewhere beautiful in the middle of nowhere, and live there forever, just forgetting about this entire world. Often times it seems as if the things that I use most in my life, like my phone and my computer and damn facebook and myspace, cause me so much stress. I think I’m generally a pretty calm person. I like being alone, reading, quietness, clean rooms, and soft lights. But with everything in the world surrounding me and my constantly busy schedule, I don’t think I get the chance to really enjoy what I treasure most — the teeny tiny simple things.
I will admit that I’m not the happiest person. My life is in no way perfect. I think because of this, I always keep myself busy in order to avoid dealing with the things that upset me. I am addicted to being stressed out and being busybody because I’m not very good when it comes to dealing with feelings. I don’t think that I know how to. It’s just easier pretending like problems don’t exist.
I also came up with a conclusion about relationships today. They’re much like taking a long trip on a ship. (hah rhymed* -_-) When you first get on the boat, you’re nervous, but it’s an exciting nervous. You enjoy the thrill and exploring the ship and the new wonders it brings.After a while you come to know the boat, you’re used to the feeling of being at sea, and you start to forget what life was even like before you set foot on the ship. You’re not really unhappy with the fact, because life on the boat makes you feel content and comfortable. Then, whether abruptly or not, you reach land and must part with the boat. And no matter how life on the boat has changed you, made you stronger, smarter, sadder, or smaller, you are left in a new land and are completely unfamiliar with your surroundings. It’s hard to adjust because you cannot treat the new land as you had the old; it’s totally different. All the while you were traveling further and further away from your home land, but you were okay with it because you had the safety of the boat to keep you from the dangers of the outside. But once the boat is gone, you have nothing, in a strange new place, left to rebuild your entire world and fend for yourself.
It may be a bit cynical, but I think it’s fairly accurate.
“All Things Considered, February 11, 2009 ·
Most people hate flying. I love it. Nothing makes me happier than a long flight — the longer, the better. I once flew nonstop from New York to Bangkok: 17 hours of pure bliss. I packed two books and actually read them. I stared out the window and actually had … thoughts. Some of my best ideas take flight at 35,000 feet. It could be the thin air up there, but I think there’s another reason: disconnection. No e-mail, no cell phones. No guilt, either, because at 35,000 feet I am “offline.” Don’t you love that word, offline? I do. But it is about to go the way of other cherished expressions, like “out of the office ” and “on vacation.”
Every culture has its out-of-bounds venues, circumscribed places and times in which the normal demands of society no longer apply. Buddhist monks on meditation retreats, college students on spring break. Instinctively, we humans recognize the value of tuning out the world, at least for a while. We know we’ll return refreshed and ready to cope again.
These off-limits spaces, though, have been steadily shrinking as technology’s reach has expanded. Oddly, we don’t put up a fight, but rather embrace this erosion of our leisure space. Many people love their BlackBerrys and iPhones, viewing them as tools of liberation rather than what they really are: electronic tethers, like those ankle bracelets that some convicts have to wear. The airline cabin represents the last refuge from ubiquitous connectivity, the last place where we are forced, for better or worse, to be with ourselves … and our thoughts.
But, I hear the technothusiats say, just don’t log on. No one’s forcing you. You can always opt out. If only. Every technology, from the car to the cell phone, starts out as optional and soon becomes mandatory. We can’t opt out, lest we be labeled an out-of-touch Luddite or, worse, old.
But, the technothusiats coo, onboard Internet access will be so convenient. Those who can log on at 35,000 feet will enjoy a “competitive advantage.” Perhaps, but the first person to send a package Federal Express also enjoyed a competitive advantage — for about two seconds. Once everyone can send a package overnight, the advantage disappears, and all that remains is the expectation.
So, please, airline executives, I beg of you: Don’t do it. You’ve already deprived me of leg room, decent food and dignity. Don’t take away my peace of mind, too.Eric Weiner is author of The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World, now out in paperback.”
I actually read this post in someone else’s blog but I was fond of it so I decided to include it in mine :P I must say, I enjoy this man’s insight. I never realized how great I feel when I don’t go online for a long time. It’s really refreshing to tune out everyone, and focus on my moments, in my world. It kind of makes me want to get rid of my screen name, swear off Myspace, and lock my computer somewhere that is not easily accessible. For now, I’ll just delete the Facebook app off of my iPhone.
